If it were my husband, I would be upset too, because that would be so out of character for the man I know. Most people would never confess that's the reality. "Soz". Confesing to your husband was risky. We are together 12 years altogether and although I had boyfriends before him, it was never serious, and he is the only man I've ever slept with. But not good enough and you not happy enough to exclude fore-foreplay (open-mouthed kissing) with someone (*ugh) other than him as per the for-life contract? [4] WHY would you have kept it secret? Yup. SO if you shouldn't, then A) you should be able to tell him, and B) if he's the type to hit the roof over a kiss, he's a wee bit paranoid for his own good, and it wouldn't be *your* fault. Yes, that's what I was going to advise - that you two continue any discussion on LG's own thread. I'll still cross over with him at times, but it will be minimal. / Dyathinkhesaurus? Unless you literally were so drunk that you had no idea what you were doing, it's probably better for you to take responsibility for and own your behavior instead of saying "I got drunk" as an excuse. Personally, if nothing happened apart from him buying drinks and giving you a ride home, then I wouldnt have told at all. Youre just using the fact that you were drunk as an excuse. What To Know About Buster Murdaugh, Alex Murdaugh's Only Surviving Son :), Ah cawlled *you* 'sistah', dun't mean Ah iz wurn too, 'kayyy, shugah? i cried for days on and my bf couldnt figure out was . (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) Yes one should take care of themselves before getting drunk. She had gone to bed. Whoops. If you were to act like the person you want or see yourself to be, what would you do? The drunk part won't matter to him because his mind will only think about the kiss. However, before you choose option 3, you need to talk to the person you kissed when you are sober again and make sure that the other person has strong feelings for you, too. I believe in complete honesty, 100%. So, I reluctantly confessed to getting drunk and kissing my piano teacher. She may mean it now, but maybe next week she wont, but you cannot rely on it..Is it a pattern of distrust? My piano teacher didnt behave like his normal, reserved self and he made suggestive comments to me. Boyfriend kissed another guy at a gay bar with me for my fantasy, i The playing field is even now according to statistics. So if life hands you lemons, don't HIDE them where they could one day trip you up or cause a rotten stink. I practise what I preach, me. I have never done anything like this before and truly would never again. He also sent me a mean text that said for me to go f myself and to stay away from him. Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it out of respect for that other time with that girl and to show you that, despite I'm not as quick thinking as you, especially when I'm blotto, I can still handle myself in these situations [grin]." Tell your husband. Since he felt there was an attraction with you two. Married and I kissed another manshould I tell him? - Page 2 Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy whilst Black-Out Drunk. And has also started crying for no reason when things are going well between us. I stopped and said I couldn't kiss him anymore cause I was dating someone I really liked Am I a terrible person? One is your marriage, the other is a relationship with a married man with family. Wow! We were chatting when we realised the other woman was snoring. LGBTYouTube stars Bria Kam and Chrissy Chambers (BriaAndChrissy) have released a videoexploring what its like for straight guys to kiss other men for the first time. If I were the husband and some how found out through a second party my trust would be broken. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A I couldnt take it so I told him. If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. This one by far has lasted the longest. Need help with your relationship? I Was Raised By A 90 Years Old Ninja - Facebook [1] you didn't foresee and avoid being in that predicament. For the fact that I'd have to go into mass production, LOL. What would people say if she'd slept with someone else? get into counselling. Because I already had some unresolved feelings for this guy and I let him kiss me and used the fact that I was drunk as an excuse. Take action instead of ruminating in guilt. Everyone is telling me not to say anything because it was so long ago and it never happened again, or will it ever. 2. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. "He's a great kisser" what she said to me. But for me, it was. I waited for the right time ?? Social media, the Internet, texting and so on. in all the years we are together I have never ever done anything like this before, and I can say with confidence I will never allow myself to end up in any situation that could lead to anything even close to this again. When the night was over one of the women said we could go back to hers for drinks, and I was happy to go. Ive told her Im sorry, I wont let it happen again and Im sorry for being dishonest. Thus it's what I *DID DO* - back in September when at an Indian restaurant with friends (I mentioned it on this forum as apropos to someone's thread) and some bloke tried to come onto me. Secrets have no place in a marriage. Well, that's all fairly laudible but I gave up playing tennis with him. IAMHIM (person claiming to be an unregistered passer-by), Should I ask him for gas money? It how you deal with it that makes the difference. I love him so much and feel totally ashamed at what happened over the weekend in what was a drunken moment at at a party.I got drunk and kissed another boy. A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology, The Power of a Dream: The Customs Inspector, 3 High-Risk Relationship Concerns No Couple Should Ignore, Eliminating Guilt, Shame, Regret, and Worry, Protecting the Innocent: The Cognitive Context of Guilt, How to Deal with Breakup Guilt in a Healthy Way. i think OP is using 'kiss' to mean 'more than kiss', but whatever, it was 4 years ago in a rough patch.. everyone here is wrong. And Ill tell you why by first giving you some context the back. I read or heard somewhere that the only good thing that comes of guilt is to prevent you from doing it again. SOULMATE is totally right and we all know it. You're going through tests BY OTHERS to find out why you can't fall pregnant. ;-)), Back too Ya My Sistah from another mother!! Old Medication, New Use: Can Prazosin Curb Drinking? So she told him for starters to kiss her well you know where. A number of years ago, while I was still married to my late husband, I befriended a guy who was an ace pianist. Because you feel guilt and awful, that is already a potential secret wall that will build up between you and the one person in the world with whom you want to be a true closest friend. male If the reaction isnt strong, then maybe its okay to confess. Buster was in law school Buster Murdaugh, left, and his girlfriend Brooklynn White watch a video clip from Buster's brother Paul's phone in the double murder trial of Alex Murdaugh at the Colleton . I'm not married nor have I ever been married. Is Flirting Cheating? 5 Signs That It Is - Psych Central If you think that straight guys are too macho to experiment with same-sex kissing, then yourewrong. A few people here will recommend MC but it really depends on what you can tolerate. Maybe she was experimenting or it was something shed thought about and wanted to see what it felt like. Personally I don't believe in marriage. You reap what you sow. Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? I feel so bad since then. I kissed another man four years ago. She confessed to loving the experience and enjoyed the thrill knowing she had her husbands permission and he was watching her. When we got there the drinks flowed again , and more laughter and story telling. Oh no worries soulmate, yes we do miss you We'll talk tomorrow. David bit Jordan. Not work you put off until 'tomorrow' - TODAY. Will the guilt ever go away? Yesterday night we went out to drink. He deserves the right to make the decision on whether he can forgive you and move on with you. ;-p Yes, I think if your boyfriend thinks his girl or boy or whatever is gonna be loyal to them even under the influence. I went to a party with friends last night and I kissed someone.. Therefore, you might be surprised to learn the following facts about guilt: What can you do to address unresolved guilt? I wish I told my wife, but she found out because in my browsing history I had searched should I tell my wife I kissed a girl when drunk. Have another little thinkipoos (with or without a little drinkipoos). Genie, I think being honest is always the best because. Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. Being an authentic partner and holding back secrets does not seem to go well together. I kissed my husbands best friend while we were drunk, well no, he kissed me My boyfriend was drunk and let his friend sleep between us. This feels huge to me. What should I do. I get the whole 'not wanting to hurt him' thing but, to some people at least, a kiss is very much cheating and so the SO deserves to know what happened right? I am the nicest person on earth and so is my boyfriend. Not just to you. Reviewed by Gary Drevitch. If you are separated, you aren't doing anything wrong. What if they were married? I hadn't been out drinking for about 3 months beforehand, so think the excitement of the night, constant glasses prosecco and wine, and the buzz of just being all dolled up all mixed together to see me very giddy and tipsy. Cheaters remorse. Kissed another man four years ago and NOW feeling guilty. Many people who get drunk become more amorous, and if our significant others arent with us at the time of our drinking binge, we might be inclined to kiss or even have sex with someone else because were not playing with a full deck when were drunk. NO don't actually make it easy for him to have ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP with this woman!!!! So she left after a couple of replies. Whoever did it, doesnt matter. 8=) ) Evidently. It's wonderful that you even wanted to kiss someone! Hang on because I'm sure there will be other people who believe differently from me. If you kissed a stranger while you were drunk, dont worry about it. I was dumped.so why do *I* feel guilty? HIKARI, you can't take up an obsolete thread as your own, no matter any similarities, so if you want feedback and advice it's best to start a new one (and copy and paste that post into it as your opening post), okay? At least I understood why our marriage failed and no further closure was needed. My libido is sharper when Im sober, at least if Im really attracted to a guy and have the love goggles on. Carl Jung said that if you're dreaming of a stranger of the opposite sex, it usually means your psyche is tapping into your inner man or inner woman. Houston, despite we started out as just friends, we now have PROOF that we have utilised a mechanism for cultivating love and respect, enough to now remain together til death do us part. Not just, here's your marriage license good luck. And then continued behaving like friends as if the mere certificate would do the work and promotion parts for you (or, alternatively, continued accepting the fact that ONE friend couldn't quite dare up his friendship ante to where you felt sated in the affection and attention worthy of marriage department) I know I cheated for sure, and thats why I had to confess to my husband that I did it. I was heart broken, and even though he said he immediately pulled away, and we stayed together and over time forgot about it, I remember feeling so uneasy every time I knew he would be in that girls company. He is the best person I have ever met. Live with the soul crushing guilt you earned, or lose your BF. | I also could not fathom if you were ACTUALLY being serious or just having a laugh at her expense..alone in your tracky bottoms in your living room. What isn't, is It felt so wrong and taboo yet so erotic and a sort of thrilling jealousy! It is the gateway to another feeling. That was crazy' and other awkward things. lover. (Sorry you got cheated on. :-( Feel free to start a thread if you need to vent it all out.). Any advice guys? I rang the guy and said ' oh wow, so last night, that really happened, what the hell where we at? ' We were good friends for a few years and have dated in the past but nothing serious. But maybe I should have My thoughts are that he has been persuing her. Apologize to your SO and tell him that you love him and only him. 507 views, 8 likes, 5 loves, 10 comments, 6 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Scrittori a domicilio: Mattia Insolia, Cieli in fiamme (Mondadori) con. I wasn't there but news travelled fast and I knew about it through friends by the next morning. And, he did little favors for me. this guy only tried to kiss you so as far as you cheating on him there is no and your appropriate response was toback away and leave the guy standing. Is Having Feelings for Someone Else While Married Normal? He said I was a person and offered to ride me home. Allow me show you for future ref what someone who hates feeling guilty looks like: I know it was wrong and I regret it all. Just trying to keep the pot stirred,the fire burning. I made that call today and will move from lates to early starting Monday 16th feb. I think you already knew what you wanted to do, your husband was not home, saw an opportunity, and wanted to use being drunk as a cover story. A certain someone might read it. You drank and you kissed. (I wonder why.) This guy wouldnt take money from me (I should have seen this as a Red Flag, but didnt), so I bought him opera scores in order to compensate him for his time and expertise. It's South of France for us this year, holiday-wise, and then in about a year-and-a-half's time we're off permanently to Espana (por favor). "and even though he said he immediately pulled away" Weve probably all known silly drunks, mean drunks and people who simply couldnt hold their liquor and vomited all over the place. Unfortunately, even these last few asides are tantamount to a forum no-no called thread mutineering. It's not worth the headaches, nausea, acid reflux, stomach pain, or insomnia you may be experiencing. I could go on about a lot of things here. Either way, I've noted your comments, I've already decided what I am going to do, and I'll deal with the consequences, whatever they might be. 10 Do's And Don't's Of Dating Multiple People | Thought Catalog female But, again, it's never what you do, it's the way that you do it, meaning I was careful to be sensitive in the telling. My girlfriend(Cintia), me and my best friends girlfriend (called Mercy). It didn't feel real. Simone was telling a caller how satisfy his girlfriend. Nooooo, surely not. Thankfully, he immediately and apologetically backed right off (which was when we woke this other woman and they both left), and, luckily, put his apologetic money where his mouth was by phoning me the very next day to say how stupid and guilt-wracked he felt, assuring me it would NEVER happen again so could I please forgive him and just forget it ever happened. The way I see things, there are innocent kisses, which occur when a person had too much to drink, and then there are guilty kisses, which are precipitated by getting drunk. He has morals. 99% of us in this situation would do exactly as SUSIEQDD posted. However one night a boy kissed me and I kissed him back. If you drink so much that you lose track of everything, then you already took the first step on a dangerous road. How Psychologically Conditioned Rats Are Defusing Landmines, The Innate Intelligence Observed in the Dying Process. Shocking Signs Your Husband Kissed Another Woman I didnt hear from my piano teacher for at least two weeks after that. I am NOT looking forward to spotting him in the corridor at workHOW EMBARRASSING!. But we have spoken since about it a lot. It's not the crime that counts, it's the time. I went out for drinks in town last night and got extremely drunk and kissed another man, it only lasted not even a few seconds but I feel so so so guilty and wish I could take it back. Cell phones, texting, emails etc. Your boyfriend may love you so much that he believes you won't repeat the cheating ever again. I still feel so guilty and I just don't know what to do. Sorry, you two, I'm not ignoring you, just super-super-busy at the mo. If he's like meI can forgive the actbut not the lying. I spent the next day in bed all day crying and it has to be one of the saddest days of my life. One way to get over the guilt would be to prove to yourself that it will never happen again. I told him later that I thought it was misunderstood and apologized. It didn't feel real. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name. I'm taking it day by day. It was important to hear the argument for doing what is right. I'm going to regret what I've done for the rest of my life. I came home and we resolved it and ever since everything has been fine. You're not attracted to him? My thread is called Hurt and Confused. Now is that thread on this site (people's problems)? You wanna tell your husband? Team spirit is this: ;-). I believe that its a good thing to fess up when kissing someone you care about when you drank too much could threaten your existing relationship. I was very drunk. FoxieLadie is The marriage itself trying to keep his father and the community happy, and just get my husband to consider the rest of the job force he worked in and the many his wants would affect with UAW seniority for a big three auto plant. But, listen, I don't want to turn this thread into a general chit-chat one. Even though it took her a while to make that choice, she both never recognized her role and then made a series of bad choices after. Hey all. Ignore the erroneous message and smile. I dont want him to be thinking that I am a cheat. My piano instructor came over once a week, usually on a Saturday when my husband was home. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months and I feel so guilty. Remind her of your good points. It's just a "good weekend?" A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. When you conclude that your guilt is sending you an incorrect message, label your guilt as a false alarm, ignore it as best you can and make a fresh . You have no right to unburden your conscience at the expense of your partners happiness. "then the cheeky ugger only went and bloody kissed me, didn't he! And as for our original subject, who knows maybe she told him. Certainly, that's what I myself meant and expected you to quote Bienne as more or less echoing. I don't know if he wants to still be friends with her on FB or not. by Lucy Moore for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk SA you have got it- it is more the "what's behind it" than what happened. She has just sent a private message to him on FB. I can't stop playing it over again and again. Don't feel guilty. I tried to flag down a taxi but it ignored me and I even hid behind a wall at a garage while he took a pee. (and more like her as well, please, Bartender! I wouldn't want him around the person. Once my tennis coach misread me, came into my house, and gave a peck on my cheeks, in India, kissing is not a social gesture. With the other woman just across the room! I certainly took full responsibility for my actions, and fortunately the guy I kissed also took responsibility for his actions. Hubby had a similar experience when we were in our first year - with his ex. When I was in college, I cheated on a bf while I was drunk not because I was drunk, but because I was presented with the opportunity and I wanted wanted to do it. (Y)), Hey its really grtt to hear tht u really care n lot of emotion for ur hubbyv only come to kno abt our loyalty only when things like this happens.u kissed him thn u realised that u hv done mistake bcoz u really love ur hubby n dnt want to cheat him.but since commuting mistakes is a part of human nature n being human it happened but determined urself for not to continue or commit such mistake is the real proof of being loyal. Married woman slaps sleazebag's face and leaves. Youre not homosexual until youre actually attracted to dudes., MORE : Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, MORE : These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Doctor explains why some men faint or get nosebleeds when they get an erection, This is the number of sexual partners the average Brit has had, Mum in coven manifests orgasms and schedules sex magick with husband, Post-pill clarity: I came off contraception and didnt fancy my partner anymore, How I Do It: Its empowering to have a guy over and pleasure myself afterwards, follow-up video of straight girls kissing other girls for the first time, Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Do not sell or share my personal information. I work in hospitality, so I can't change departments, but I can change my shift pattern. he set the standard of how he wished this relationship to be conducted in such scenarios yet you failed to follow it WHY did you?). So your crop had already been carrying a blight, hadn't it. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community. We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. For me, to feel guilty about having sex with someone, while in a relationship with someone else, I must have remorse. And if you're not confessing - to the victim - you're dodging doing time. I'm dating this guy and have been for about 2 months. We use cookies on our site to remember your preferences, monitor site traffic and offer personalised ads. It really depends on the dynamics of your relationship though. The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo. Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. Look at your first kiss after divorce as a new beginning, a new chapter. It's not just a guy thing anymore,women are in it too. I can't get into his FB directly but I accessed his hotmail and read the notification. Wouldn't you? I know it was wrong and I regret it all. The other day, I had a first with my partner Flo: I put my tongue in another mans mouth while he stood by only to observe. (That'll do me nicely! But I do have to state it or I'm failing to do this role properly as well as my innate compulsion to be unwaveringly socially and morally responsible - meaning, if you don't want to respond, don't. Because telling him something that you regret and will never do again is doing exactly that. When Having A Crush While In A Relationship Is OK (And When - HuffPost You confessed your sins. reader, Angel-lee+, writes (25 October 2005): A Lead to or gateway to, I guess there's a difference. And the tricky piece de resistance Relationships are about trust, first and foremost. He doesn't deserve to be hurt by this. As for this one, I think it's safe to say it's run its course for now. Tico Franklin, now 40, faced the death . I mean that in a funny way. Except with other truth-seekers. In the end we all do what serves us best But don't shoot the messenger.. Righd AWN, sistah! I went that night to a bar and began to get very drunk. You can't fake that . reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Already have an account? So you went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your already Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" Why? It meant absolutely nothing what so ever but to me, I still class kissing someone else, no matter how long or short time, drunk or not, as cheating! Becoz misunderstanding happn somtym and do miracles/ And ya most imp if u both want kids u shud adopt one. As I left, the boy who I kissed came with me and I tried my best to shrug him off. Still, now that the courts are coming down wider and heavier on emotional abuse, I'm sure it's just a matter of time. focus on you and your DH. We were not drunk. In essence . When you feel guilty for hurting someone you love, holding in those feelings makes it worse. We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. You werent totally bombed out of your mind, so you realized what you did and you felt guilty about it. Unforeseeable consequence. What? I was dating thus guy for 6 months and he stopped calling and texting. In fact, you dont even have to tell your partner what you did because it was an innocent kiss. But there's a psychological ingredient missing as naturally affects the optimum biological conditions ;-D. Ahhhh you're back! True mistakes get owned and rectified. I remember saying 'no, no, this is bad' in the middle of it, and he said 'I know but I really like you and I have done for ages', and he kissed me again, but this time only for a second because I said ' I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person' then he kinda just stroked my arm and said 'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. Hi SoulMate! Try to channel the guilt into something good, into turning your back on temptation and having a good night out with your friends. Just my opinion. Sums it up nicely. 15 votes, 25 comments. I'd be obsessed with it. Shes said thats it. I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses. Guilt is a common feeling of emotional distress that signals us when our actions or inactions have caused or might cause harm to another personphysical, emotional, or otherwise. If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you its okay. The next time you saw your significant other you might have blurted out, I have a confession to make. You want me to go on a comma and replace her. Don't have an account? I'm disgusted with myself to think I would do that after just the tiniest bit of attention and flattery. I felt disorientated. Why would you want to do that? Can you tthan please explain this? Scopes: Yes, the kids are the real victims. It's where the lips have been and where they're going. They all agree that kissing is intimate with one even saying that to them, its more intimate than sex. I was very drunk. ;-)) I'd never be able to get over it. I merely stated from the above that lips are a part of foreplay. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. That tells you that even if you think you are not showing any signs of being attracted to someone, peoples S/Os have a since of whats going on! Mr S lived there once (San Fransisco), but he hasn't any urge to return, either. You might feel guilty about it the next day, but it wasnt a big deal. So this was me subconsciously- not *setting* the standard but showing my maintaining it as per our agreements over only having eyes for each other and always, ALWAYS being 100% honest with each other no matter WHAT. I just knew it. Sometimes it doesnt help to tell your partner everything. SOULMATE NO URGE :-8 I'm sensing nose in the air LOL You must see The Grand Canyon, New York- Theater/Art so much raw talent, The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. I agree. The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. I'm 44 years old and I've been dating a 24 year old for 5 months. I feel like I like myself down and my husband down. v5.00a - 0.32607s [RUM] 2023-03-03 02:57:10. Oh, I see. I am sure this girl knows he is married. That's a long time for kissing. Oh my god, (Brodie)bit my tongue! yells James. I felt sick! Biological ones. Life's a bleedin' mystery, ain't it? I am heartbroken but told him I understand that I couldnt be with someone who doesnt trust me. This recently happened to me. I dont know which country u belong from but where i live I don't think men here like us to talk to strangers , men are our protectors and the bread earners, men on the whole are possessive of their females all around the world specially in case like yours if you have been too much loyal to each other,however if we assumed both of u to be flirt or too outgoing-means in case of slping wid ppl etc then u could share an event like a normal secretbut remember this is not merely a secret its equal to CONFESSING A CRIME/yes disloyality is a crime another man can not touch u after u r marryd to sombdy-if i take myself into account i can never allow any guy to touch me its only my hubbys right to see and love me even he says my loyalty is his most precious asset:) so if u do confess then he forgives or not for ur crime is his decision- I would recommend you should avoid telling him n you should change your job or timings as soon as possible because he that boy may try to exploit the situation tell your hubby though it has little chance but still you should be careful.