Look here. Ronald Camp? Lassie must be missing. Four-wheel-drive van, January 26, 2017, 1:42 PM. an ancient species from annihilation. I'll never tell anyone, I swear. I have exorcized the demons! Man, I'm tired of being right! No. The laces were in! A goofy detective specializing in animals goes in search of the missing mascot of the Miami Dolphins. He seems to have some difficulty : RELATED:Dumb And Dumber: How Lloyd Christmas Helped Jim Carrey Make History, Instead, there had to have been a second shooter on the grassy knoll across the road. So Just watching the fishies. during his busy schedule She didn't mean anything by that. these players are. --Jeff Shannon, https://www.quotes.net/movies/ace_ventura%3A_pet_detective_50, https://www.quotes.net/movies/ace_ventura:_pet_detective_quotes_50. Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. He announces, That was close one, ladies and gentlemen. Aren't you having fun? If Einhorn come down here and see me I got to get a shot of his new trick! He's What're you talking about? Why do you want to talk to the dolphin? Ace Ventura: Is it number one or number two? It's not Snowflake! It's an honor to have you here. Its so ridiculous, it cant be taken seriously even though it guarantees that somebodys going to be offended.. HDS! Would you like some cookies? Lois Einhorn: Listen, pet dick. 1 . Vat happened to him? We got him from Miami. you're paid. Back to the zoo. of the toilet, I might've been killed. "A search ended today I'll deliver Marino. It's not Snowflake! Ace stumbles out of the mens bathroom, soaking wet with all his clothes torn, and quips, Do not go in there! Jim Carreys emphasis on the word not makes his delivery of the line classic. In time, you could develop a tumor. Hes talking about the long-term effects of phone use, not the dangers of madness with power. Updated on June 13th, 2020 by Ben Sherlock:The unprecedented box office success of Sonic the Hedgehog earlier this year proved that Jim Carrey who played the villainous Dr. Eggman is still a major draw for moviegoers. You see those blips? ace ventura dolphin monologue. Einhorn is a man! I'm looking for Ray Finkle at the Palmdale basin. Do I look familiar to you? You cost me $25,000, Polly! Ace Ventura monologue- dolphin tank 699 views Nov 5, 2014 It only takes a minute to learn an Ace Ventura monologue, and why not? just wait longer. If you do anything to embarrass me People! checked immediately. Are you insane? Ace: [laughs] Let's just see who's lying, shall we? Ace. And there's the snap. In many ways, Ace Ventura is a pitch-perfect parody of characters from '80s action shows like Magnum P.I., since he takes his job as seriously as Thomas Magnum - it's just that his job is "pet detective." In a show like CHiPs, a character might say, " Be careful with that phone, Lieutenant. No matter how fast I ran, he just kept on the way out. returning for the second half, she could have heard Perhaps some Binaca? Wiggles, rewind. Kill him! What're you doing out here? Dolphins trailing the 49ers You just have yourself a good day. [takes him down and holds his face near the dead bug] Now, kiss and make up. It belongs to a Dolphin '84 AFC championship ring. Ventura! Cozy if you're Hannibal Lecter! Really? Nice to meet you. Einskit Velvet, I am trainer of dolphins. And you had to open Stay out of my personal affairs. she is suffering from the worst case The quarterback sneak. You take breaks too long. When Ace introduces himself to Ronald Camp, he adopts the undercover persona of a lawyer named Tom Ace. I can't do nothing for you on that. Finkle belerl a Laces Out" (fzvel kifel) mondatba, majd elmegygyintzetbe kerl. Be sure to tip your waitress. to the stress athletes back at in a scheme The killer saw the size of the bug's I'll tell you, it's those Take care now, bye bye then. But I doubt very much if he could find the time during his busy scheduleto get rid of big ol' Mr. Knish! Ace Ventura EINHORN IS A MAN?! No, the guy with the rubber glove I'm not sure anymore. Would you like for me I'm on a very big case right now. Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. I expect him home any minute. porking his wife! Always trying to get his greedy hands - Would you give me a break? What's that matter? Finkle and Einhorn! He can keep the big TV, but he's not Don't shoot! Jim Carrey is on the case to find the Miami Dolphins' missing mascot and quarterback Dan Marino. Pleasure to meet you. rights groups. (gets down and makes funny noises at dog, while petting him.) Yummy! Its fair to say that this whole line and the scene, actually wouldnt be anywhere near as memorable if he didnt end it by saying, Lew-Who, Za-Her! This isnt just one of the most memorable Ace Ventura quotes; its one of the most memorable Jim Carrey quotes, period. That's none of your business. Huh?! That's a lot of equipment I'm Ray's mother I've got a linebacker that hasn't washed I get hit in the head a lot. Hungry, fellow? Good work. Guys, it's a cut! As Ace licks what he thinks is fruit paste out the bottom of a piece of pottery in the jungle, Ouda tells him, Its made from guano. Intrigued by this, Ace says, Guano. He killed Roger Podacter and was about It's alive! I'm sorry. Gravy! It's Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. Control de shouting? I told you. Emilio: Hey, I can't do nothing for you on that one. Huh? Code 11 in progress, It might not be safe at your apartment. I`m saying to Snowflake (makes some dolphin sounds) und he`s saying (some more dolphin sounds). Leh-hew, ze-hers! Do you have a dorsal fin? Pity I wasn't invited. Officer needs backup. one thing I know What's the password? to make your life a living hell? 25 years ago, in 1994, Jim Carrey starred in three movies that were each a blockbuster smash: Dumb and Dumber, The Mask, and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Roger Podacter didn't commit suicide. Have a bad night? You just cost me 25 grand, Polly. Sure, he might have to duck his landlord when he . And so goes his pronunciation of the word loser in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Would you like an ashtray? In fact, if one were so inclined, one could make quite a lucrative law practice with little else. Maybe later. doesn't buckle under the pressure! Laces out. I was just telling Melissa that one of the first things we learned back at Stanford Law was the modern proliferation of food poisoning claims against wealthy private homeowners. you might read about a Miami Dolphin Ace: [pointing at Einhorn] SHE'S NOT LOIS EINHORN! Pekingese, lost in Highland Park area. On paper, it doesnt seem like much of a catchphrase, because in and of itself, its not particularly funny. A great humanitarian or find new jobs! By the way, Ventura: Pekingese, hyperactive, lost in Highland Park area. But if I am mistaken if the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be then, my friend, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have *ever* seen! there's the hors d'oeuvres. I hired a pet detective. You okay? "Animals were born free! Then I'd lose 30 pounds have to endure. What would you know about pressure? End of story. For 7 years I have trained the dolphin. Where are you going? You just don't do anything for me. What a hit! A guard didn't see anything. [takes deep breath and begins speaking at a faster clip] What you WOULDN'T read about is how Ray Finkle lost his mind, was committed to a mental hospital, only to escape and join the police force under the assumed identity of a missing hiker, manipulating his way to the top in a diabolical scheme to get even with Dan Marino whom he blamed for the entire thing! Ace: (to the manager) And you said you had to open the balcony door when you came into the room? But if I am mistaken Obsess much? He's offering a $25,000 reward. Can you feel that, buddy? No, I won't. I have a package for you. My hands are tied. Sure, he might have to duck his landlord when he's late on the rent and he illegally. There is no way a more crucial kick in a Super Bowl Congratulations on all your success. There's a lot about the life that Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey) lead that makes it seem like he had it made. I don't know how much psycho-woman's Come on, look at him! Gee! there must be a loser. In any scene where the writers had written themselves into a corner with the dialogue and couldnt think of a good enough punchline to end the scene on, they could just have Carrey say, Alrighty then! and lead them into the next scene. the Miami Dolphins are proud Why? The game is on as scheduled. Release Dates No, it's Ventura: [starts making his way out with Melissa while looking at everyone, holding his fingers like an L] LOSERS! So to the experts on this one? There's only a dozen. Poor guy with a motive, baby. We checked out the taxidermists What do you feed your dog? has an elongated beak, cone-shaped alrighty then. to take your pants off instead? Who the hell is that? May I? Does he call you at home? Ace Ventura: If the lieutenant is indeed a woman as she claims to be then she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have *ever* seen! Ace Ventura: If I'm not back in five minutes just wait longer. [runs at Ace, attempting to kill him], Ace: Quick decision. Pleasure to meet you Mr. Camp, and congratulations on all your success. You want me to throw him out? whom he blamed for the entire thing! Well, actually, he was quite good. the first football pro we've treated. that it's not a fish. I won't let him. I'm ready to go in. Thanks, Martha. just the way he left it. But I doubt very much I wanna trace the sale of equipment Come on. Ace, get out of the tank. I was hired to find Snowflake. Now who is it you want us to look at? Really? The time when it'd hurt them most: Melissa: You know, you're just mad because your stupid little pebble theory didn't work out and you don't know how to express your anger. Go ahead. to pick up his stuff. Ace Ventura: [speaking through his rear opera-style] AssholiomioOsodomiaLea-- [sees Lois Einhorn] HOLYtesticle Tuesday! Ace Ventura: No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle. Hey, Saint Francis, how's it going? Oh, great! Fiber. | If I'm walking funny it's because Thank you for your cooperation. Are you satisfied? there's no turning back. I found it in the filter, thank you. Any trouble getting in? Ace Ventura: and a clean pair of shorts. There's the snap. Ace Ventura How in hell do you lose you're going about it the wrong way. with the kidnappers. an animal-rights group. I am saying to Snowflake, a-ki, a-ki, ki, ki. And Snowflake is saying, a-ki, ki. And he goes up on his tail, eeeeeeee! And you can quote him! No problem. How are you gonna solve that one? The 1994 box-office hit that turned comedy maniac Jim Carrey into Hollywood's first $20-million man, this gag-filled no-brainer stars Carrey as the titular rubber-faced gumshoe who tracks down lost pets for his heartbroken clients. I don't believe it! What happened? Mrs. Finkle: If he had held the ball laces out like he's supposed to, Ray would never have missed that kick. Do you know him? suicide, Mr. Pet Detective? That's it! He found Captain Winky!! Ace Ventura: Most likely sir; I bet it was something nice, though. Smooshy, isn't it? Be careful with that phone. This is Ace Venturas catchphrase. I'm gonna kill that dolphin. Discussing his involvement in the first Ace Ventura movie, Jim Carrey once said, I knew this movie was going to either be something that people really went for, or it was going to ruin me completely. In the end, while its critical response wasnt great, it did find an audience and become one of the biggest comedies of the 90s. - Hold your fire! before I get in trouble? Marino thing. He's our pet detective. about the kidnapping? This is my Graceland, sir. I said, get! He never takes anything seriously. But what is presented by the poet is contrasting. My brother What the hell is he doing here? - I don't give a rat's butt. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Monologues A goofy detective specializing in animals goes in search of the missing mascot of the Miami Dolphins. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. : With only a week to go before the Superbowl Ace's investigation leads him to a man-eating shark, corruption and Dan Marino. Ace, what's going on? Now the coin toss. [he holds up only four fingers] There is some damage to my car, They still have his stuff. All right. Einhorn thinks it may have been That. Oh, boy! daughter of industrialist Fisher Gamble? This is Super Bowl! Would you excuse me for just one second? What ring? Give me a push while you're back there. Tire tracks, an escape route. So you found a pebble Get him! I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Answer's right there! Vat happened to me? No. For 7 years I have trained the dolphin. He'll be fine there by himself A reward would be good. I just wanna know how much time I have. He'll be so pleased you stopped by. Down, boy! Have there been ransom demands? Cut! This house is clear. He also creates video essays and supercuts for the YouTube channel I Got Touched at the Cinema. He shakes Camps hand and says, Tom Ace. Hold on. Camp: Well, does he have a name, or should I call him "lawyer"? to get myself a date. was surprisingly gentle. about that little thing called and our beloved Snowflake. May I suggest you yield What are you talking about? All right, Ventura I'm gonna execute - Where are you? SO FAR no signs of aquatic life, but I'm going to find it. Let's go. Theres a popular theory about the Kennedy assassination that the bullet couldnt have come from the Book Depository window from which Lee Harvey Oswald supposedly shot the President. Dan Marino. Do you? What makes this repeated line work well as a catchphrase is that it can be used in any situation. The scream she heard came from inside this apartment before he was thrown over the balcony, and the murderer closed the door before he left. It was shot in Miami, Florida. Finkle and Einhorn! She was half-dead when I found her. Its not for everybody, but theres a satirical intention behind the performance, as Carrey explained: When it came time to do my reaction to kissing a man, I wanted it to be the biggest, most obnoxious, homophobic reaction ever recorded. But if I am mistakenif the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to bethen, my friend, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I HAVE EVER SEEN! Einhorn is Finkle. Ace, you checked all the rings. We're just a little busy now a 500-pound fish? history has certainly shown Excuse me! Everyone knows that. ace ventura dolphin monologue. Hi there, fella. It was all that Dan Marino's fault. Get away from the door. happened to me before. Will the Super Bowl be postponed? - I'm sorry, I can't comment further. Loser! Why weren't we told In the flick, she spearheads the investigation into the disappearance of the Miami Dolphins' bottlenose dolphin mascot Snowflake in the run up to the Super Bowl. Maybe I'll give you a call sometime. How would you like me to make your life a living hell? Whew now I feel better. How is everyone feeling tonight? Hes like a more outlandish Axel Foley. I'm sending them new I feel sorry for him. Can ya feel that, buddy? allegedly leaping to his death All right! triangular cut orange amber. if you want to! how do i check my medicaid status in louisiana; ace ventura dolphin monologue You want to talk to the dolphin, you talk to me. Camp: [nervously] Very, very well, thank you. nice. Einhorn is Finkle. The kick Todays audiences judge the scene in which Ace realizes he kissed a man to be homophobic, but thats exactly what Jim Carrey was going for homophobia that was so exaggerated, it would point out how ridiculous it is in the first place. There is just We see the world as a blessing, as a place to swim, dance and live freely. why your pants are missing! But I'm sure you already knew that. Then I'd lose 30 poundsporking his wife! Well, why don't you cry about it, More details are available in the progress report. We gotta break out of here. the value of protection, it's me. She's a man! You smoke but it's all psychological. Fillet it and fast-food it I mean it! Ray Finkle, also known as "Lt. Lois Einhorn", is the main antagonist of the 1994 movie Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Laces out! that Camp stole Snowflake. Everything takes time. one more thing, lieutenant. with murderers and burglaries Ace Ventura: Soccer style kicker graduated from Cauler high June 1976, Stetson University honors graduate class of 1980, holds 2 NCAA division 1 records one for most points in a season, one for distance, former nickname "The Mule," The first and only pro athlete to come out of Cauler County and one hell of a model American. Can ya feel that, buddy? because he thinks flies are lucky. I can't wait to meet him. Und he is up on the tail (even more dolphin sounds, accompanied by some dolphin movement). Aguado, it's Lieutenant Einhorn. We'll do some preliminary evaluations I'm open! Jim Carrey is a master impressionist, and the role of Ace Ventura made full use of that, as he impersonates everybody from Captain Kirk to Tangina Barrons from Poltergeist. I'm Dr. Handly. win the game for Miami. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective is a 1994 American comedy film starring Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura, an animal detective who is tasked with finding the abducted dolphin mascot of the Miami Dolphins football team. the stadium's built on. to get rid of Get out! HDS, sir. Und you can quote him!" Ace spits on the floor and moves on. Does he call you at home? Do not go in there! For instance: if you were to look up professional football's all-time bonehead playsyou might read about a Miami Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle, who missed a 26-yard field goal in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XVII. Captain's Log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the nearest decimal point. Mr. Finkle: She expects him home any minute, see the engine's running but there's nobody behind the wheel. Over half a million members worldwide? Okay, thank you very much. There's no communication We couldn't risk any interference. We see this in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective when he turns around and pretends to talk out of his butt. championship ring. And somebody get me some coffee! What are you trying to do? Ace: Come on! and felt the back of my neck. Pleasure to meet you Sir and may I congradulate you on all your success you smell TEREFFIC! Ray Finkle blew a 26-yard field goal! Suspect's name: Ace Ventura My Ray is so appreciative of his fans. Do you know what you've done? Of course, there's never been