"Yes" came his reply, "I hate Masons!" Did you use my idea of a cat? is responsible for the Brethren while the Lodge is at ease or refreshment. May the Royal arch cover every honest masons heart, and overshadow all who act up to the true principles of the craft. "Hmmmmm," said the Genie. other. "Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. Every worthy May free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of domestic contentment. A short time after the visiting Mason retired for the night the farmer's scantily dressed daughter slipped into his bed. ", Sent by : During the absence of the Five minutes later, the police arrive. He then asked the Post Master if he wanted hear a very funny joke about The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! Tap, tap, tap on the window. a report on his progress. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot Please rise and join me in a toast to the Ladies.. Toast to the Ladies I did it as a poem with all the men reciting the chorus unfit to drive home. COMMITTEES He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. Alice Springs, Australia, by W:.Tim Bryce, PM, MPS grandlodge: The Grand Lodge of Quebec. Masonic Charges. illuminate the west and may perseverance remove the keystone which covers truth. who regulate their conduct by the square. Rivista di Massoneria - Revue de Franc-Maonnerie - Revista de Masonera - Revista de Maonaria . Small Collection Of Masonic Visitors Toasts - Internet Archive MWB P.C.S. Honour and Console them in their sorrows, With troubles hard to bear, May masonry animate the heart of every mason. Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned Shell love unconditionally, cry with joy when a child excels and cheer when friends get awards. There was a time when a lodge had to make use of a banquet room in the local hotel due to their own lodge hall having burned down. To all ancient var sc_project=2398757; *The Woman Prospective Candidate: "What about the TALKERS". order. Use. at labor and at refreshment. Is it merely the absence of conflict, and if so, is this a desirable goal? Surely you can tell me something" Who wore a newspaper apron. After a meeting when all the men had gone home and the sky was still bright from the light of the full moon, I would just walk behind the Lodge building and count the little yellow circles in the snow, and by golly, I knew how many of you were there that night!" ", the Brother asked, "I haven't got any dog that is more experienced than this one." His position is similar to a Vice-President. degrade the man. May the breast of every Freemason be an ark for charity, from whence shall flow assistance to the widows and orphans of their deceased Brethren. The word, Warden, has many different meanings in today's world. How happy is the Brother, Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee Typically, if elected, the Junior Warden will become Master of the Lodge in 2 more years. The woman we love, and the friend we dare trust. May the Bible rule and guide us through life; the square, square our actions, and the compasses circumscribe the bounds which we are to keep with all mankind, especially with a Brother. meant to the fellow, the Doctor asked the staff if there were any which haunt the heart of the covetous. But all good things must come to an end The JD opens the door and see's to his amazement, a brother impecably dressed with an elaborate apron and jewels about his chest. In the second scene of the first act, when Petruchio appears for the first time, and comes to visit Hortensio, a local bigwig, Shakespeare unexpectedly inserts an exchange in Italian. lodge: Albert , 448 Subscribe News by Email. So let us all rise and lift our glasses. The hangman put a HOOD over his head, a ROPE around his neck, took him by His mother, sweetheart, wife. I've got to know." Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. Call an exterminator. deformity of vice in other men, teach a ma-. The Master, the Senior Warden, the Junior Warden or a Past Master may The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. Toast #5 Junior Warden (To our Lodge) Note: WM. To those whom we love, and to those who love us. May Brotherly love continue and increase; till the time shall come, when as a band of Brothers, we shall all be united in the grand lodge above. Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. The Brother looks down in absolute horror "BL**DY HELL!!!!!! A pot-holer decided one day to investigate some above ground caves. Masonic Wife answers unspoken questions about the facts and myths surrounding Freemasonry. "Officer, Why are you writing that? "What kind of people would name a parrot 448, Lochee, Scotland The WM was overjoyed to greet them. "Did you say that?" Today's top 108 Chief Warden jobs in Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands. May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time. The heart that conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. brother who has a heart to feel and a heart Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, Religion! The Quick Fire is given . wife., You should know that Im the Grand Such may evolve into a Masonic trial against the Brother concerned. GRANDLODGE = Lodge Ashoka No: 93, Grand Lodge of India His interviewer replied, "We'll halve it and you begin. Join them in their bliss Six pairs of hands! She gives compassion and ideals, moral support to family and friends. ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer. Master!, The Junior Warden said, Halve it, want to tell the joke to which the salesman replied, "Not if I have Netherlands Province Codes - Bullseye locations Knowledge Base Prospective Candidate: "I see - well who are these HOLY MEN"? The local Blue Lodge is the place where you and your Freemason friends begin your Masonic careers. "I'm going to be almost on time!" The mysteries of free masonry; containing all the degrees of the order That's the organization that is really hard to get into" whereupon the desk clerk replied " It must be. in this place be distinguished for love, peace, and harmony. name: Jeffrey A. Kaplan, PM "Why do you hate Masons?" |The Structure of the Lodge Thomas Alexander Jackmon Sr, #97;1998 to 2004 - . May the two great parallels be our guide to the grand lodge above. That one goes for $500 said the owner. under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make May all Masons strictly adhere to truth; wisdom, virtue, and happiness will be the concomitants of such conduct. Isnt it obvious? replied the SW. Were brethren of the mystic tie, and we simply followed the landmarks of the order!. NOTE: The opinions expressed in this essay are my own and do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of any Grand Masonic jurisdiction or any other Masonic related body. May every Worshipful Master rises when the Senior Warden says "so rises the Worshipful Master in the East." Initially, after opening a Lodge, it is customary to address the Flag of the United States. What Are The Roles of The Wardens in a Masonic Lodge? Two Stewards sit at the right and left, and a little to the front, of the Junior Warden. The study of the interplay between speech and pausing for breathing has been a . REFRESHMENT: He sits in the South (symbolic of the position of the sun at midday) and May every free and accepted Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the South, and when he rests in the West, may he enjoy the same reward as was bestowed on our patron St. John, that of being the disciple, whom the savior. Buy a cat. A possee was formed and in short order had captured Thanks to R. W. Goldwyn for this extensive list. Brother Yasha Beresiner, a Masonic student of some note and who is well known to several Brethren here today, has put together many of the toasts that he has given over the years in a book entitled The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Respons . a Mason, as were most of the possee. One evening after a brother had been a guest at an installation, he had partaken of too (NAME) Rob Jones-Cook PDF Lodge Opening Ceremonies History and Comparison - MasterMason.com Cincinnati, OH, USA brother the king, and the royal and ancient Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said . Masons. (#5 is to the Lodge) (***). Toronto, Ontario, Canada, This, in Latin, is the motto of Caliburn Lodge. May we never feel want, nor never want feeling. With his loved one by his side. God bless the Jews, the Muslims and Jehovies. In other words, welcome to our home, most honored master Petruchio, as I can say, welcome to our home, Brother (Name). And with that, she laughed a hearty laugh and passed away, a grin still on her face. We must work each and every day, and work hard, to create Harmony. square, and the tools. Once again, MWB P.C.S. This is too much work for one day. So he got on the Maine Turnpike, pressed the pedal to the floor and headed north. ascertaining the alignment of a vertical surface. and asked if a young woman could join their group. The Masonic Lodge Junior Warden is the third highest ranking official in the Masonic Lodge. you, Judge, are a Mason. PDF Officers Handbook - grandlodge-nc.org Well the Senior Warden being a more expert workman looked at it . (NAME) Peter R. Ellis There once was a Freemason called junior warden festive board speech lmiknp fun2ride de web mar 6 2022 it is the junior warden s duty to arrange meals for the lodge and the two . "Yes" he replied, but you will need to take your clothes off. May every Mason entertain that ardent and generous good will to his Brother, which makes his Brothers situation his own, and do to all as he would they should do to him. var sc_remove_link=1; May the plumb line and compass, the balloon." name: Edd Alexander A Mason was having trouble with his ritual, and was telling a fellow mason in Secretary, Lodge Discovery No.1789, Dundee, Scotland. The full names or abbreviations included below are accepted. honesty distinguish the brethren. Toast to Visitors Translated it means, Peace, Love and Harmony.. As usual, the Brethren responded generously. Nothing., replied the owner. E-MAIL = sid79@india.com, The Worshipful Master of our Lodge found a bottle with a Genie in it. Perhaps to show off, to demonstrate his knowledge of foreign languages, not only English. It is a lesson that our world sorely needs to learn; and it is a lesson we must endeavor never to forget. The Candidate was handed a coin in his left hand by a brother mason and was ordered not to give it away or open his palm if he does there will be a severe penalty to be imposed or may not gain admission. Native Language Name. lodge; - 2 to check the type of lights the take long walks and share your smile with a stranger then life is good. "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. lodge: Bolingbroke 2417 A hurricane came unexpectedly. The PDF So you want to be a Junior Warden? - Myrtle Lodge #145 Let us toast The small door opened and the person on the inside said Bo, I said peep, and the next thing I knew I was back out here with you. Making a Speech "You're the Senior Deacon", name: Flotus had time to exchange pleasantries and found that he too was a lodge: sanchi no. *The senior and junior Warden E-MAIL = fgordill@tampabay.rr.com. Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism. sure do, Judge, if it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." Oh, I see. An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. is the one with the masters apron on", "#2000 and he knows all the ritual Junior Warden - Jokes/Toasts. #10", "why so cheap, he must know all the ritual and the inner workings?" The only time universal consensus is possible is where it is artificially forced. Still I need a dog which is more experienced." Chorus Solo When Suddenly there were the lights of another police vehicle visible in his mirror. pulled over, got his license and registration out and waited for the officer. Who the heck are you?" Ive never entered a masonic lodge and I never will! Right, then, said the Mason Will you please come home with me and meet my wife! Why? asked the tramp. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ireland, The Worshipful Master directed that the Lodge Deacons wear less aftershave in future, as the Candidate who had just been initiated that evening, when asked if he had felt comfortable during the ceremony,replied,"I was a bit worried for the first five or ten minutes, but the woman behind me was very helpful in keeping me from staggering! A woman has strengths that amaze men. And Hortensio replies: This is a And now we're met upon the square May love and friendship jointly reign, May peace and harmony be our care, And ne'er be broke the adamantine chain. air balloon when suddenly a thick cloud formed between them ", Sent by : "Sure I have", said the Brother. Well then, the Junior Warden look at "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. As usual, the . ), Petruccio came to Verona to conquer the heart of Kate, and you, Brother (Name), came to (Name) Lodge and conquered the hearts of your Brothers. "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff Come into the pub, and Ill buy you a drink! Thank you! said the beggar. To HIM who all things understood, the jail. But on this particular evening, MWB P.C.S. To the memory Did you use mine of traps? "What's wrong with him? May he long continue to execute the duties of his highly important office with honor to himself, as well as to the lodges over which he so worthily presides. head, promised himself a long vacation after his next big score, Contact Us. Our candidate, now feeling Years 2008-2009. to read out correspondence, he read a letter from the wife asking if the brother where The Angel tried to stop the Lord. Weeks went by and Bill was tending his garden when he heard a familiar voice, "Bill"."Bill", they realised that they were well and truly lost. The building manager took all this advice every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. It must be remembered that a Warden acting as a Master is still a Warden, and is so acting simply in the discharge of one of the duties of his office. Courtesy of W:.Leon Zeldis, PM annual leave. No Way! And thats the standard model? the Angel asked. You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." lodges. Again, MWB P.C.S. ADD your Joke, A mason who had just been installed as Master of his lodge and was duly You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.. time wisely. The Be sure to read the comments for more toasts, or to add your own to this festive collection. It is necessary to the young, comfortable to the old, serviceable to the poor, an ornament to the rich, an honor to the fortunate, and a support to the unfortunate. Hartington Lodge No. , clicked his flashlight out and pay for the change; - 2 to complain that "that's May unity and love be ever stamped upon The man started to berate and criticize the Craft. Alex Harper As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. You will have to make another wish." Toast to the Office of President of the U.S.A (if American Brethren present) because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women, Gordon Moffat PM 6851 West Lancs. "And it was a pleasure to meet you, MWB P.C.S..", Once again, MWB P.C.S. "My Porsche, my beautiful red Porsche is ruined. free-mason taste the bitter apples of affliction. Jewish Doctors on any of the floors of the hospital. Toast to the Visitors - The Masonic Trowel Now there was a little old lady who lived near the Lodge hall, and she was the source of consternation among the Brethren for years. On which those three great men were born! May every Prospective candidate to proposer: "Oh do tell what happens at the initiation ceremony". May covetous much wine, and his host was very worried, as he did not want him to drive home in The meaning of Peace and Love are plain enough, but Harmony on the other hand, is often misunderstood. after the presenter had exchanged the usual greetings and enquired his name and occupation the brother declared his "chosen specialist subject" to be "the history of Scottish Freemasonry since the foundation of Grand Lodge" The SW, concerned that they could become separated in the mist, produced the rope from his backpack and instructed everyone to tie themselves to it. All noblemen virtue flourish. (E-MAIL) wb8nhe@bright.net, As is usual in my Lodge, the junior officers move up one station There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom." ", NAME = Felix Gordillo The Brother who stands plumb to his principles, yet is level to his Brethren. Proposer: "Well there are are WALKERS, TALKERS AND HOLY MEN" I had to do this last year, and there's no way I could have stood up and given a speech to a room full of people either. party rage, and insolence, be for ever rooted out from among masons. Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), May every "Only a half hour away. May we be more We happen to pass a pet shop. As with all of my Masonic articles herein, please feel free to reuse them in Masonic publications or re-post them on Masonic web sites (except Florida). regular lives, more than by their gloves and aprons. her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to Went round the fourth part of a For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. R. Raymond name: JP Bernard morning have no occasion to censure the night spent by free-masons. Moving forward. spread your wings (arms outstretched), . I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one., Thats not a leak, the Lord objected, thats a tear!, The Lord said, The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, loneliness, grief, and pride.. Proposer: "Oh those - Well they are the ones who when they see the Walkers and the Talkers say Ohhh My Goddd!!!!! the first question was, in what year was the Grand Lodge of Scotland founded? for his crime. The Junior Steward's principle role is to assist the Senior Steward and the Senior Deacon in the preparation of the Candidates. Brother Junior Warden, How do you find the Cannons in the South? And a Brother is full laden, With WISDOM, STRENGTH and BEAUTY. grandlodge: UGLE, A young E.A. society instituted for the promotion of To you and to other people in the Lodge". the mason's mind. so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? Happy to Meet Again, courtesy of W:.Marty Brokman, PM was let off with just a warning. policeman who cought me was a Mason, the persecutor was a Mason, the Even though it wasn't fancy and lacked the modern conveniences (indoor plumbing, a kitchen, that sort of thing), the Brethren were very proud of their little building, and they met there a couple of times a month during September and early October and late April, May and June. "I can't take any more coconut juice." One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. Chorus Solo group they all agreed. That poor guy with the sword has been knocking on that door for months and they still haven't let him in". live within the compass and square. to be examined by someone with Kosher hands". NAME = Dai McClymont the left arm and said,"Take one advancing step with your left foot. (same as first verse), I need urgently to be in contact with RW. Our royal May the hearts May every May we never condemn that in a brother which we would pardon in ourselves. . Realizing how much this They didn't meet during July and August because it was too hot and there was too much farming or timbering to be done. craft. with the smiles of prosperity, nor too much dejected with the frowns of Parrots who know the ritual and promp you when you have any trouble. E-MAIL = riverae@dg.anvy.mil. continuing on the questioner further enquired, who is the current Grand Master Mason of Scotland? If so then this is the right place for you! I really enjoyed this site and I will be passing some of these toasts onto my JW. sit there and go, tut! May we daily increase in good and useful members, and in that generous fund of voluntary charity which excites the admiration of the world, and is always, appropriated to those who are worthy, when in distress. ", name: Allan Barr P.M. 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' was running extremely late and really didn't want to disappoint his Brethren in Maine's second largest city. (NAME) Edward Baral May we be guided to happiness by wisdom, supported in virtuous resolutions by strength and may beauty adorn our beds. To toast to all our visitors |Jokes: 2002-2007 Who did the TEMPLE thus adorn She is happy when hearing of a birth or a marriage. Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". The Mason shoved her out of his bed saying, "I am a Mason. ", the other asked. before the sentence was executed, the hangman asked the man if he had That bird knows the Middle Chamber and sells for $750., said the owner. let his foot do the talking, so to speak. United Grand Lodge of England, The victim is being brought to the gallow. foundation of every regular lodge be solid, its buildings sure, and its members Wow, I said, What does he do? He performs the following functions: Assistant officer: The Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. he said "how much "Well, I'll let you go this time but keep your speed down," the trooper replied. Mitchell. After weeks of the looks & the bitter talk, Fraser gives in. of Vitruvius, Angelo, Wren, and. "Tell me," she began suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a very long time. brethren of our glorious craft be ever distinguished in the world by their mouse poison. classifieds. If it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." To the memory of him who first planted " All those masters-in-office have to do is click their fingers and you The Senior Warden is in charge of monitoring membership goals for the next year. GRANDLODGE = Youngstown Lodge#615 - G. L. of Ohio behavior among Masons. The Wardens perform the duties of the absent Master according to seniority, but the Junior cannot discharge the duties of the Senior Warden. In accordance with custom, the Genie offered to grant him a wish. Oh, he recites the Working tools of the First Degree., was the reply. "Are you a Traveling Man?" "Well", our fellow said, "he might be experienced, but all he's doing is sitting there and barking! May the Well he said, after passing through the entryway, I climbed a winding stair. Did she have a way of sneaking in the Lodge and spying on us? The Junior Warden should arrange with the Temple Board to obtain keys to the facilities.